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AG Adam Grant Adam Grant Organizational psychologist at Wharton, #1 NYT bestselling author of THINK AGAIN, host of the Re:Thinking podcast.

“I worry a lot that increasingly people are defaulting to AI companions, which I actually think is an oxymoron. I don't think a chatbot can be a companion because by definition, companionship is a two-way street. You could receive simulated emotional support… But guess what? You can't give it back.”

Plain English with Derek Thompson · US Politics · October 2026

“I worry a lot that increasingly people are defaulting to AI companions, which I actually think is an oxymoron. I don't think a chatbot can be a companion because by definition, companionship is a two-way street. You could receive simulated emotional support… But guess what? You can't give it back.” — Adam Grant, Plain English with Derek Thompson

Derek Thompson asked how Grant talks to his children about AI as a tool versus a friend. Grant says he never lets AI write a sentence for them, because learning needs friction. He tells them chatbots are a superpowered search engine, not a substitute for thinking or for people.

Plain English with Derek Thompson · 2026-10-13 Listen to the episode → More from Adam Grant → More US Politics quotes →

Transcript

Plain English with Derek Thompson Around 52:11 into the episode
Adam Grant

…which my sister and I found out that our parents were getting divorced. And instantly, like companions came out of the woodwork right at that gathering of mostly strangers. And so I think just a little bit of planning goes a long way for helping people to find a wavelength that they could vibe on.

Derek Thompson

I really love that answer. Last question. I don't want to ask you about AI at the level of society. You have children. How do you talk to your children about AI as a tool versus a friend?

Adam Grant

…situations where we have to confront challenges? They might be social challenges. I worry a lot that increasingly people are defaulting to AI companions, which I actually think is an oxymoron, Derek. I don't think a chatbot can be a companion because by definition, companionship is a two-way street, right? You could receive simulated emotional support, I guess, from Claude or ChatGPT or Gemini. But guess what? You can't give it back. They are not going to know what it feels like to experience grief or sorrow or despair. And so you have nothing to offer and you can't be a companion and therefore you cannot have companionship. And I'm trying to have that conversation with our kids to say, look, you know, basically AI tools are there to provide information. They're like a superpowered search engine. They can synthesize…

Derek Thompson

I'm thinking of your answer and connecting it with something you said maybe 40 minutes ago about how our social networks are changing their shape. They used to look like webs and now they look like bicycles with a hub with individual one-on-one relationships with the spokes. As some of those spokes…

Adam Grant

I think that's a really good point. And it's a worrisome trend because if we start to offload some of these habits to AI, right? I can imagine somebody who's listening to or watching this conversation right now saying, you know what? I'm going to build the app so that when one friend finds out that…

Derek Thompson

Well, I think the Larry David solution to the crisis of social connection in the 21st century is the perfect place to stop. Adam Grant you so much. This is great.

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