“I think a relationship in which you can't be candid is actually not a relationship. It's a charade. And I think a lot of us are afraid that we're going to damage the relationship if we speak our minds. But in reality, those conflicts are more likely to strengthen the bond than they are to disintegrate it.”

…member. You're supposed to tell them a hard truth. Some people are randomly assigned to do this, others aren't. And the question is, what happens in a week or two afterward? A week or two later, on average, you feel closer to the person that you've confronted and they feel closer to you too because you have shown that you care enough about your relationship that you want to be honest with them. I think a relationship in which you can't be candid is actually not a relationship. It's a charade. And I think a lot of us are afraid that we're going to damage the relationship if we speak our minds. But in reality, those conflicts are more likely to strengthen the bond than they are to disintegrate it. And the reason for that is when you have to work through a problem together, you are making a commitment to hear each other. You are making a real investment in trying to improve the relationship. We sometimes forget to convey that, or we make the mistake of saying, never go to bed angry. And then you only fight when you're angry and tired, which is not a good recipe for healthy conflict. But if…